It can be intimidating. You are entering a world only whispered about, and it can be a labyrinth of rules, mores, a new lexicon, and all while putting your very flesh out there to taste something more exciting. Who wouldn’t be intimated? I still get intimated sometimes. BDSM is not for the faint of heart, and being new is a minefield.

Take my hand, come closer, and let’s have a short talk. In the hope it will help you. You’re an adult, you can make your own choices. But here are five people to avoid when you’re brand new to …