Is my hookup lying to me?Q: I went on a date with a girl and later that night I texted her to tell her I had a lot of fun. She texted me back and said that the sex was great, but she’s not interested in seeing me again. Is she lying about the sex? 

It’s difficult to know whether or not she was telling the truth. What’s important to understand is that it doesn’t matter. Whether she’s telling the truth or not, you’ll never know.  In casual sex, your partner may be more willing to fudge the truth because they know they’ll never see you again. That could be the situation with this girl. She had a so-so time but she’d rather say it was a-okay and cut contact after that first experience. Maybe your techniques weren’t her favorite, maybe your chemistry wasn’t super great. She’s throwing you a solid by not crushing your self-esteem. Because you know what? Even if the sex totally sucked for her, it might not be your fault. Why bum you out for nothing?

In committed relationships or sexual relationships where both partners are interested in seeing each other over time, communication is extra important. You need to tell the truth because that sets the stage for how well you’ll grow together over time. The more you tell your partner, the better he gets at knowing what you like, and vice versa.

In this situation, it’s a low risk lie. She won’t see you again so it doesn’t matter.

Of course, it is better to just be open and honest IN THE MOMENT because if you’re going into casual sex to have fun, why put up with a half-assed partner?

So reader, calm your nerves, let it go, and look forward to whatever comes next.