ARE YOU STRUGGLING TO ORGASM DURING SEX?

For some people, an orgasm during penetrative sex is as rare as a winning goal at a Blackburn Rovers football match. I’m not talking about foreplay or the stimulation after sex, I’m talking about penetrative sex, which is a time when you really want to orgasm with your partner. According to research, only 20% of women orgasm during penetrative sex, so you aren’t alone.

There are so many reasons why females struggle to orgasm during sex and to be honest, I blame the media. We have become so accustomed to women climaxing at the drop of a hat on television, in books and in porn that we forget that an orgasm is something that needs to be achieved.

After all, good things come to those who work for them…

Going back to basics helps you to orgasm during sex

If you can’t orgasm with your partner, it’s time to talk. Discuss the issue and look at ways to resolve it. Focus on constructive ways to boost arousal and stimulate the clitoris. Try going back to basics and concentrating on what feels good at the time, rather than aiming for orgasm. By getting to know your bodies again, you’ll have a better understanding about the ways to achieve orgasm during penetrative sex.

Sometimes, the issue may be psychological. Again, this is quite common and can affect women as they get older or those who have suffered a traumatic sexual experience. Getting help with sexual dysfunction is really easy and can help you to achieve the happy and fulfilling sex life that you deserve. For more information about getting help with sexual dysfunction, contact your GP or get in touch with the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists to find an accredited therapist.

I have a clitoris, and I’m not afraid to use it!

For women, the key to a great orgasm alone or with a partner is clitoral stimulation – and lots of it. During sex, try not to forget about the clitoris or other erogenous zones. Whether you incorporate a sex toy into penetrative sex to help stimulate the clitoris, or you use your fingers. A little bit of clitoral stimulation goes a long way when seeking an elusive orgasm.

Spend more time on foreplay to help you orgasm during sex

The most powerful tool in the quest for sexual satisfaction is the mind. Once you get the mind warmed up, the body quickly follows. Set the scene for uninterrupted pleasure and take the time to relax and enjoy your partner. Instead of rushing, spend more time on the gentler pleasures and work up to firmer stimulation. The extra time on foreplay is really important for helping a woman orgasm during sex. After all, it’s all about having fun isn’t it? What’s the rush.

Stop relying on your partner – take charge

Sometimes it helps to show your partner how to pleasure you during sex. Using your hands or a sex toy, bring yourself to orgasm as they watch. Not only will you partner find it super-hot, it shows them exactly how you like to be pleasured.

During penetrative sex, reach down and play with your clitoris. With your partner stimulating your G Spot and the added clitoral stimulation, you’ll enjoy a mind blowing orgasm.

Find a position that works for you both

Whilst changing position too much during sex can hinder orgasm. It does help to move into a more stimulating position if the one you’re using just isn’t working for you. Some great positions for clitoral stimulation are:

Doggy Style – It’s very easy to reach the clit for you, or your partner.

Girl on Top –  As you gyrate, rub yourself against him to stimulate the clitoris.

Missionary Position – An old favourite. Achieve a deeper penetration by pulling his bum closer to you and pressing his pelvic area against your clitoris.

Sex toys can help you to orgasm during sex

Another great way to orgasm during sex, is to give yourself a helping hand using your favourite sex toy. Whether you choose to hold a vibrator against the clitoris during penetrative sex, or you try a couple’s cock ring. Sex toys are perfect for easy stimulation during sex.