Q: I went on a date with a girl and later that night I texted her to tell her I had a lot of fun. She texted me back and said that the sex was great, but she’s not interested in seeing me again. Is she lying about the sex? 

It’s difficult to know whether or not she was telling the truth. What’s important to understand is that it doesn’t matter. Whether she’s telling the truth or not, you’ll never know.  In casual sex, your partner may be more willing to fudge the truth because they know they’ll never see you again. That could be the situation with this girl. She had a so-so time but she’d rather say it was a-okay and cut contact after that first experience. Maybe your techniques weren’t her favorite, maybe your chemistry wasn’t super great. She’s throwing you a solid by not crushing your self-esteem. Because you know what? Even if the sex totally sucked for her, it might not be your fault. Why bum you out for nothing?

In committed relationships or sexual relationships where both partners are interested in seeing each other over time, communication is extra important. You need to tell the truth because that sets the stage for how well you’ll grow together over time. The more you tell your partner, the better he gets at knowing what you like, and vice versa.

In this situation, it’s a low risk lie. She won’t see you again so it doesn’t matter.

Of course, it is better to just be open and honest IN THE MOMENT because if you’re going into casual sex to have fun, why put up with a half-assed partner?

So reader, calm your nerves, let it go, and look forward to whatever comes next.

Not long after I started watching porn, I discovered videos featuring fucking machines. I’d had an interest in them ever since but had never used one. I kind of figured they’d always be too expensive and maybe impractical, since I live in a small house. But then came along self-thrusting toys toys like Velvet Co.’s Jackie thruster. They’re essentially less expensive, handheld versions of fucking machines! As you can imagine, I was very excited to learn about these toys.

There are several thrusters available on the market now, but Velvet Co.’s were the first I’d seen and they still seem the most impressive to me. Velvet Co. currently offers four full-size models including the Jackie, which is the one I am reviewing. The Jackie has a very realistic appearance, aside from its lavender color — which is the only shade the full-size models come in (unfortunately; I like variety). There is also the semi-realistic Frankie, the “retro” Abbey with a ridged shaft, and the anal-friendly Walter with five graduating beads. Velvet also makes a shorter thruster that is essentially a compact version of the Jackie. The mini version is called Teddy and it’s available in 4 shades.

Boasting a speed of up to 140 strokes per minute, the Velvet thrusters are super powerful. They’re controlled using the three buttons located on the bottom of the handle. One is an on/off button, and the other two (- and +)  decrease and increase the speed. There are 10 speeds and the range is impressively broad. It starts off reasonably slow and gives you the opportunity to ease into quick, powerful thrusts, which is how I prefer to use it.

The shaft is firm silicone with some flexibility, allowing you to comfortably play around with different angles and positions. The whole toy, from the tip to the bottom of the handle, is 11 inches long. The insertable length is 6.5 inches, and it extends 3 inches when it thrusts. The shaft is 1.5 inches in diameter. The shape and ‘veiny’ texture of the Jackie thruster are quite stimulating, especially considering how firm it is. I found this pleasurable but for folks who are sensitive to texture, the smoother mini Teddy thruster might be a better option.

I find it a bit difficult (especially with my chronic back pain) to hold the toy and use it myself. The thruster is quite long and takes a long reach coupled with an awkward position for me to hold and control it successfully. I had better luck once I tried holding it in place by putting a pillow between my legs and keeping that in place with my feet. That way, the bottom of the toy is resting against the pillow and pushing against it when it thrusts. But my best hands-free experience was when Sean held the toy for me. It quickly turned me into a giggling, orgasming mess. It was extraordinarily fun.

Despite my fascination with fucking machines, and how good the Jackie thruster feels, it’s not something I find myself using as often as I expected. I’d really like to try the mini thruster, Teddy, because it has the benefit of having a suction cup base. The possibility of using it hands-free more easily would probably translate to more use. Regardless, I think it’s an amazing toy that I highly recommend for anyone interested in fucking machines or just wanting a different or hands-free experience.

Believe it or not, sex toys have been around much longer than you think. The history of sex toys isn’t something that has been widely studied, and as a result there is little information. However, the earliest known dildo was recently discovered in Germany and is believed to date back to the Palaeolithic age, which is approximately 28,000 years ago.

The stone was highly polished, carved in a lengthy phallic shape and found amongst a number of personal care items which led researchers to believe that this was a product used for sexual pleasure.

The History of Sex Toys – Greeks and Romans

The Greeks and Romans were much more accommodating as they provided literary and pictorial evidence of their sex toy enjoyment. In Aristophanes literary classic , the title character is frustrated by the lack of males available to satisfy the women during a time of war. She refers to the ‘eight fingered leather dildo’ which is shared amongst the females, thus providing some evidence of using products for self-pleasure. The Greeks also attempted to upgrade hard dildos of stone by baking them out of bread, and covering them with layers of leather and animal intestines to create a more natural feel.

The Romans on the other hand, are responsible for the creation of the double ended dildo which was often used in ceremonies, or shared with friends (as you do!).

History of Sex Toys – The Chinese

The Chinese were also thought to be great innovators in female masturbation. In the past, Chinese nobility were thought to have too many wives to regularly satisfy. To quell any concerns about their wives becoming sexually frustrated or being unfaithful, they would present them with elaborate penis substitutes. Furthermore, the Chinese also believed that wearing a cock ring would increase their chance of producing a male heir. It wasn’t uncommon to have these rings created from the eyelids of a goat, and with the eyelashes still attached to increase stimulation.

The History of Sex Toys – Hysteria

It was Doctors of the 13^th Century who first recognised ‘hysteria’ and understood the importance of female pleasure. They often advised that females masturbate to relieve sexual tension using a dildo. However, attitudes had changed by the 16^th century and females were advised to relieve tension by catering their husbands lust. This left a lot of females feeling dissatisfied, as intercourse rarely produces an orgasm on its own.

If catering to the husband’s manly lust failed to relieve ‘hysteria’, horseback riding was often recommended. However, by the 17^th Century masturbation had been demonised as ‘self-abuse’ leading to a dramatic fall in the admitted use of the dildo, and those talking about them.

The History of Sex Toys – Media Influence

Fast forward to the 19th century. Fans of the movie Hysteria starring Hugh Dancy and Maggie Gyllenhaal will recall that the invention of the first mechanical vibrator wasn’t actually specifically for the female orgasm, but as a labour saving device.

The film is based on a true story and follows the journey of Dr Joseph Mortimer Granville. Granville lived in London during the Victorian era and worked alongside another physician who specialised in the treatment of ‘Hysteria’. Hysteria is a vaguely defined ailment which is easily recognised today as sexual frustration. The physicians believed that a woman’s display of mental or emotional distress was a sign that she needed sexual release, this took the form of genital massage which as you can imagine, proved to be very popular amongst clientele. However, for the physicians this caused unbearable hand cramping which led to the creation of the vibrator.

History of Sex Toys – The World’s First Vibrator

In the late 19^th century, commercial electricity first began to enter homes which led to the appearance of electrical appliances. It was in 1880 that Granville patented the world’s first electromechanical vibrator. The vibrator was an immediate hit. The results were fast and reliable, the contraception was safe and the clients were happy. By 1903, vibrators were discreetly marketed as ‘personal massagers’ and women began to snap up the products for themselves.

It wasn’t all plain sailing for the vibrator though. During the 1920’s vibes were stripped of their disguise in pornography films, stigmatised and became very difficult for shoppers to locate. They enjoyed a brief revival in the fifties and sixties due to the changing of attitudes towards female sexuality and masturbation.

With the emergence of Hitachi’s Magic Wand, positive perceptions of the vibrator began to increase and in 1984, the notorious rabbit vibrator was born.

History of Sex Toys – The First Rabbit Vibrator

The original rabbit vibrator was designed by a company called Vibratex. They were the first company to bring dual stimulation vibrators to the US market. Sales of the toy were strong, but it wasn’t until 1998 when the rabbit vibrator was featured on Sex and the City that things really took off for the rabbit.

History of Sex Toys – Bringing Sex Toys to the Mainstream Market

Sex companies rushed to capitalise on the ‘buzz’ for dual stimulation vibrators with the recognisable rabbit ear stimulator. However, what really brought the vibrator into the mainstream market was the creation of discreet online shopping. Sales of sex toys began to soar overall, with UK based Ann Summers reporting over 1 million rabbits sold in the first 12 months of their online debut. Further endorsements from celebrities such as Oprah Winfrey and Eva Longoria further cemented the Rabbit’s place in the Sex Toy Hall of Fame.

According to a recent survey of the British public. Almost 3 million of the UK’s population own a sex toy. Furthermore, the use and public perception of sex toys has changed a whole lot since the vibrator first made an appearance on the medical scene. Some sex toys are brightly coloured in a bid to attract female consumers, whilst others mimic everyday items such as a lipstick and makeup brushes. With our changing attitudes, people of all ages and sexes are feeling the benefits.